EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE HAPPY
All beings, all creatures, all people desire to be happy. This is the primary motivation of all creatures.
In Patanjali's Yoga Sutras (the Raja Yoga text book), we are helped out with the following sutra.
Yoga Sutras: Book Two.
"When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite [positive] ones should be thought of. This is pratipaksha bhavana."
One way to control negative thoughts even before the thought overpowers us is to think of its aftereffect. Stop and consider. "What will happen if I allow this thought to continue? I'll lose my friends. If the other person is strong they may not even be affected at all. She might just laugh and walk away. But even before the other person is affected by this negative thinking, I am being affected by it. It will make me ill even it affects no other person.
"When negative thoughts or acts such as violence, etc., are caused to be done or even approved of, whether incited by greed, anger, or infatuation, whether indulged in with mild, medium, or extreme intensity, they are based on ignorance and bring certain pain. Reflecting thus is also pratipaksha bhavana."
Suppose we bring pain to someone or cause harm to be brought to another. The reactions will come and ultimately result in ignorance and misery. We need not even cause pain directly for the reaction to occur. We can effect this just by approving of another's painbearing actions due to our own avariciousness, anger, hatred, or ignorance.
Much of the way we think and behave is linked to the conditions of our childhood and our own ignorance. So, before we begin to give ourselves a hard time about the way we are today, I suggest we continue reading.